Rules For Yankees Who Move To The South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice doesn't mean we can. Stay at home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain wil be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
6. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
7. If you hear a Southerner exclaim "Hey y'all, watch this!," stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
8. Florida is not considered a Southern state. There are far more Yankee Southerners there.
9. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as the John Deere, and this is th proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.
10. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even th most minute accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do!!!!!