MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after one byte.
TIM ALLEN (Tool Man) VIRUS: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.
SPICE GIRL VIRUS: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
MARTHA STEWART VIRUS: Takes all your files, sorts them by category, and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop
AT&T VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
TITANIC VIRUS: Makes your whole computer go down.
GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error).
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.