Two naked statues, a man and a woman, had been standing looking at each other, in a park, for a hundred years. One day, an angel came to visit them and said that since they had stood there so patiently through all the summers and winters, they would be rewarded by half an hour of human life, to do what they had been wanting to do most.
So the two statues came to life, looked at each other a bit shyly, and laughed a bit and said "Shall We?" and "Yes Let's." So they dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
After a quarter of an hour, they came out from behind the bushes all hot and flustered and happy. The angel said they had used only half their time and why didn't they start all over again. So the statues giggled a bit and the man statue said to the woman statue, "OK, let's do it again. Only this time, we'll do it the other way around. I'll hold the pigeon down and you crap on it!!"