Two New Elements
<![CDATA[<body>]]>Two new elements in the Periodic Table WO and XY - New chemical elements
have recently been discovered.
Here, for the first time, is a description of their properties:
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: Don't even go there!
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may
freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used
well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity
to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone.
Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when
placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: Man
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 50
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape
easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as
young samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also
tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd
(Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating
with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good samples are able to
produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to
smell.