2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from that Village People band?
4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job!
5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
6. Ya know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
7. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
8. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
9. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
10. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.
11. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
12. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
13. No, YOU assume the position!
14. I'm surprised you stopped me; Dunkin' Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!
15. No, offish, offi, lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
16. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh, and don't forget the cigs.
17. Come on, write the stupid ticket; the bars close in 20 minutes!
18. Hey, isn't your daughter a porn queen?
19. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
20. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean.
21. Yeah, I'm probably legally drunk... but that makes it legal, right?