Tennis Anyone

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Ray's tennis elbow had been killing him, so when he was passing by the doctor's office one day, he decided to stop in. The nurse told him he could see the doctor in twenty minutes, but first he had to provide a urine sample. Ray told her that was absurd for an elbow examination, but she insisted. Finally, he agreed.

Later, he was ushered in to see the doctor, who said, "That tennis elbow is really acting up, huh?"

"The nurse told you, then?" Ray asked.

"No," the doctor replied. "It's the urinalysis."

He explained that he'd purchased a new machine that could diagnose absolutely every physical condition with total accuracy. The machine cost a fortune, but it cut down on his work so much that he was able to get out on the golf course at three every afternoon.

Ray didn't believe a word. However, he did agree to provide another urine sample when he came back in for another checkup.

Two weeks later, Ray was sitting at the breakfast table talking with his wife about the ridiculous machine. They decided to have some fun with the doctor. Ray pee'ed in the bottle, and so did his wife and teenage daughter. Then, as he opened the garage door, Ray had another idea. He put a few drops of crankcase oil from his car in the bottle, then beat off and added a few drops of semen. Then he shook up the bottle, drove to the doctor and handed the bottle to the nurse.

This time the analysis took an entire hour. When Ray sat down, the doctor looked at him and said, "All right, wise guy. I've got some bad news for you. Your daughter's pregnant, your wife's got V.D., your car is about to throw a rod, and if you don't stop beating off, that tennis elbow is never going to heal."