Tech Support 2
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A call to the Canon help desk from a man with a
problem with his printer:
The tech asked him if he was "running it under
Windows." The man then responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a
good point. The woman sitting in the cubicle next
to me is under a window, and hers is working fine."
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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program
Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
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Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd
like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
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I once received a fax with a note on the bottom
to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it,
because he needed to keep it.
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Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
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I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
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Some people pay for their online services with
checks made payable to "The Internet."
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Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."
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Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons --
I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe
it was meant to --"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in
icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture'
of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]
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Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my
spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?