"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married, so this is pretty much my husband."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head in disgust. A couple of days later, the father comes home from work. He also hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. Upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing?!", he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom, I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this as close as I'll ever get to a husband"
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too. One Sunday, the mother came home to find her husband watching the SuperBowl. He had a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other hand.
"Now for goodness sakes, what are you doing?" she cried.
The husband replied, "What does it look like? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!"