THE SHIT LIST
GHOST SHIT - That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
CLEAN SHIT - The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet. but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET SHIT - The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so ou don't ruin them with brown stains.
SECOND WAVE SHIT - It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to shit some more.
BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH OUR NOSE SHIT or POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT - The kind where you strain so much to get it our that you practically have a stroke.
RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - The kind where you shit so much you lose thirty punds.
CORN SHIT - Self explanatory.
LINCOLN LOG SHIT - The kind of shit that is so lanrge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into pieces with your toilet brush first.
DRINKERS SHIT -The kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread marks it leaves on the bottom of the toilet.
GEE I WISH I COULD SHIT SHIT - It's the kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP SHIT - That's the kind where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving sideways.
WET CHEEKS SHIT or POWER DUMP - That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast your butt cheeks get splashed with toilet wter.
LIQUID SHIT - That's the kind where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl; the whole time chronically burning your tender anus.
MEXICAN FOOD SHI - An art all its own.
SURVIVOR SHIT - That's the kind where after repeated flushes, one turd continues to float around in the bowl.