Once again, the female staff will be offering courses to men of any marital status. Once again, class size is limited to 18 as course material may prove to be difficult.
Course # Course Title
________________
101 Combatting Stupidity
102 You, Too, Can do Housework
103 P.M.S.- Learning when to keep your mouth shut
104 How to fill an ice cube tray
105 We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas, GIVE US MONEY!
106 Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4 a.m.
107 Wonderful Laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my silks")
108 Parenting- No it doesn't end with conception
109 Get a Life--Learn How to Cook
110 How not to act like an asshole when you know you are obviously wrong
111 Spelling --Even you can get it right
112 Understanding your financial Incompetence
113 You- The Weaker Sex
114 Reasons to give flowers
115 How to stay awake after sex
116 Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroon
117 Garbage ---Getting it to the curb
118 Sex 118A-You really can fall asleep without it, if you really try
118 Sex 118B-The morning dilemma-If it's "Awake", take a shower
119 The weekend and sports are not synonymous
120 How to put the toilet seat down
121 How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost
122 The remote control, overcoming your dependency
123 Helpful hints for couch potatoes
124 How not to act younger than your children
125 You too can be a designated driver
126 Honest, You don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when you are naked
127 Changing your underwear--it really works
128 The Attainable Goal--Omitting %(#&*@!) from your vocabulary
129 Fluffing the blankets after farting is not necessary
130 Real men ask for directions
Please register immediately as courses are in great demand (as if we had any
doubt).
SEMINARS FOR WOMEN:
Once again, the male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital status. Please note, homework is mandatory. Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is not mandatory.
1. Combatting the Impulse to Nag
2. You Can Change the Oil Too
3. PMS - Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's
4. How to Fill a Beer Mug
5. We do not want Stationary for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHI NGS
6. Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness
7. How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load and Have More Time to Watch
Football
8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have Someone Other
Than Him to Boss Around
9. How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right
10. Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself
11. Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get it Right
12. You, the Whining Sex
13. Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S
14. How to Stay Awake During Sex
15. Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast
16. Shopping - Doing it in Less Than 16 Hours
17. #101 You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep
#102 It's OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom
18. If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
19. How to Close the Garage Door
20. If You Don't Want an Excuse, Don't Demand an Explanation
21. Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous
22. How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia
23. Living Without Power Windows - How to Turn a Crank
24. Romanticism - The Whole Point of Caviar, Candles, and Conversati on
25. How to Stay Alive While Your Husband is Relaxing
26. Putting On Something Sexy - Why it Won't Ruin Your Brain
27. How to Act Younger Than Your Mother
28. You Too Can Carry a Backpack
29. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women Who Complain
About You the Most
30. Apologizing for Farting When You're On the Toilet is NOT Necessary
31. The Attainable Goal - Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving
32. Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel
33. Appreciating the artistic talent of John Woo, John McTiernan, and James
Cameron (formerly titled: "You too can enjoy action movies")
34. Just because you want to have your way is not cause to complain
35. DOOM as a solution for PMS problems
36. Why baseball cards, et al. are not fair targets for the vaccum cleaner
37. Economic cost of $20 versus $5 cosmetics
38. Avoiding double standards - how not to get upset when your man treats you
the exact same way you treat him
39. Lite Beer - the greatest travesty man has yet created (formerly titled:
"If you want a lite beer, drink half a glass!"