You know you live in San Francisco when...
Your co-worker tells you they have eight body piercings but none are visible.
When someone says TENDERLOIN you don't think steak. You think danger.
You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.
You think anyone who drives a car to work is decadent.
You keep of list of companies to boycott.
You would never dream of crossing a picket line.
You consider carrying bars of soap to hand out to homeless people.
You take the bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in The City than there are California State flags.
You can never remember which street on Market allows a left turn--it doesn't matter, even if you did you'd miss it anyway.
The guy who cuts your hair is straight, your plumber is gay.
The woman who delivers your mail is straight and your MaryKay Lady is gay.
After waiting for 45 minutes at the bus stop, the 3rd muni in a row--packed like a sardine can--zooms by without stopping.
Old friends you haven't talked to in years suddenly call inquiring "do you have a spare bedroom for the weekend?"
You think anyone wearing a George Clooney haircut is visiting from the Midwest.
You can't remember... Is pot still illegal?
You go back east, smoke an entire joint of east coast bud with your friends, and you don't get stoned.
You go to your office manager's baby shower and the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a FREE TIBET bumper sticker - and you mean it.
You have a very strong opinion regarding where your coffee beans are grown, and are willing to fight about it.
Your diet consists entirely of Mission St. Burrito's and frozen food from Trader Joe's.
You go out for breakfast with friends on the weekend, and by the time you're seated, the restaurant has stopped serving breakfast.
A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
You'll stay home on Friday night if you have a great parking spot.
You go around the neighborhood jotting down the license plate numbers of cars that don't have a residential parking sticker.
You prefer the Spanish Soaps on TV - the guys are much hotter!
You know that anyone wearing shorts in June is visiting from Ohio.
A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotch-less chaps. You don't notice.
You still can't believe a company doesn't offer domestic partner benefits.
You curse those damn tourists, but always stop to help the cute guy/gal who is looking puzzled at a city map.
When driving under an overpass, for one moment you think "earthquake".
Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers" and it's the first time you have seen him nude.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher is named "Breeze" and has a nose ring.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to San Francisco.
You're thinking of taking an adult education class, but you can't decide between Yoga, Channeling or Building Your Own Web Site.
Your new neighbor goes to temple but you're still not sure if they are Jewish or Buddhist
In July, while your friends back east are busy minding their tan lines at the beach, you are shivering to death in a cold Victorian.
In December, while your friends back east are shivering to death in the snow, you're hanging out naked at Baker Beach.
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Georgia.