< Application to Live in Northern New Jersey
NAME:____________________________
Nickname:_______________________
ADDRESS: ________________________
EXIT #: _________________________
ETHNIC BACKGROUND:
a) Italian b) Sicilian c) Jewish d) Hispanic e) Polish
PLASTIC STATUE ON FRONT LAWN:
a) St. Christopher b) Flamingo c) Kid Peeing d) All of the above
BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE:
a) Sewage b) Sulfur c) Garbage d) Old tires e) All of the above
TOTAL NUMBER OF MUSCLE SHIRTS:
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above
NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS:
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above
NUMBER OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above
BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED:
a) Sergio Valente b) Jordache c) Sassoon d) Z. Cavaricci
PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER:
a) 100% b) 95-100% c) 90-95% d) 85-90%
TOTAL NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED:
a) 10 - 15 b) 15 - 20 c) 20 - 25 d) 25 and above
NUMBER OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME:
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above
APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY:
a) $ 5 - $10 b) $10 - $15 c) $15 - $20 d) Stolen
NUMBER OF APPLICATIONS OF OBSESSION/POLO/DRAKAR TO ACHIEVE DESIRED
EFFECT:
a) 10 - 15 b) 15 - 25 c) 25 and above
VISIBLE GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES _______ NO _______
NUMBER OF VISIBLE GOLD CAPS:
a) 1 b) 2-4 c) 5 or more
HAIR HEIGHT:
a) 6-8 Inches b) 8-12 Inches c) 1-2 feet d) Shaved (women only)
HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME:
(check all that apply)
a) Hair Spray
b) Styling Gel
c) Mousse
d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
e) Bondo
f) Spackle
g) 40 Weight Oil
h) Crazy Glue
AUTOMOBILE OWNED:
a) IROC Z
b) Firebird
c) Camaro
d) Mustang
e) Nova
f) Chevette ( You got a f#%*ing problem with it?)
NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND:
a) 6-8 Inches
b) 4-6 Inches
c) 2-4 Inches
d) Under 2 Inches
CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE:
a) Gold chain around license plate
b) Neon lights around license plate
c) Neon lights under car
d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view
mirror
e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror
f) Chrome hubcaps
g) Stick-on window tinting
h) Stick-on paint splash stickers
I) Fuzzy dice
FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM:
a) F#%*ing NEW JERZEY Giants
b) F#%*ing Jets
c) F#%*ing Mets
d) F#%*ing Yankees
e) F#%*ing Nets
f) F#%*ing Knicks
g) F#%*ing Devils
h) F#%*ing Rangers
i) F#%*ing Islanders
FAVORITE MUSIC:
a) Bruce Springstein
b) Rap
c) Bon Jovi
d) Techno e
) Bruce Springsteen