Mental Health
<![CDATA[<body>]]>Mental Health/Psychology Jokes
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
Courtesy of Douglas Landy MD, Rochester, NY
SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and
Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars
and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants
and...
PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna
Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock..(better start again)
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to
Me (and then took it all away).
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
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The Viagra Product Line
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer, the manufacturer, is
bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards
improving the performance of men in today's society...
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in
Regular, Grand Jury, and Presidential Strength versions.
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2
percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more
likely to actually finish a household repair project
before starting a new one.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged
men administered this drug noticed that their wives had
a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its
effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden
urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after
taking this drug for only two days. Still to be determined:
whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than
your favorite store's return limit.