You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
The new girl in my office is a stripper, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
Bar food again?? Kick ass!!
I liked that wedding even more than ours.
Your ex-girlfriend has class.
That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines Day!
Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!
I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
Damn! I love it when my pillow smells like your cigarettes and beer.
You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly!
You are so much smarter than my father.
If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch SportsCenter.
Honey, I really don't feel like going to that stupid wedding, lets just stay home and catch the game.
Don't bother with that old broccoli, just have another piece of steak.
Honey, come here quick, that cute new girl next door is out on her back porch in her underwear.
You're so damn cute when you trash the bathroom.
Boy, I look great, I think this is the perfect weight for me.
Don't those young girls look cute when they go braless.
Of course you & your friends can smoke cigars in the TV room, It's your house too.
Sweetheart, don't worry about painting the kitchen, I'll do it after work.