Kids Say Amazing Things
<![CDATA[<body>]]>
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with
a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother
smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have
to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The
church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying
lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a
loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you..."
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School. Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the
people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the
bridge and all the Israelites were saved.
"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"
A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned
a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while
before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear."
A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a four-year-old Protestant
girl in a plastic wading pool in the back yard. After splashing a lot of
water on each other, they decided to take off the wet clothes. The little
boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, I didn't know there was that
much difference between Catholics and Protestants."
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's
sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl
was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor
leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your
Easter dress? The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a Bitch to iron."
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.
Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday
School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made
ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up
and replied,
"Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."