Ito Menu

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Hi there. Here's a tacky, tasteless joke. I don't write these things; I just pass it on. It's on the level of my personal favorite, the Enquirer. Very tacky, but I love it!

Summer Menu

Lance Ito's Sidebar & Grill

If you Have an Hour to Kill,
Please Join Us for Dinner.

Appetizers
Rosa Lopez Nachos........................$3.95
Spicy, with a thick Mexican accent. Nacho's haven't been this good since...well, we can't remember!

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Salads
Kato Salad.....................................$3.95
An empty head of lettuce, with very little dressing.

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From the Bar
Ron Goldman Wine........................$3.95
Young vintage, good body, but you have to bring your own glasses.

Paul Barbieri Cocktail.....................$3.95
O.J. with a little honey on the side. Goes down real easy.

Marcia Clark Beer..........................$1.95
We though we still had a case, but now we're not so sure.

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Sandwiches
Simpson Alibi Sandwich.................$4.25
Full of baloney, hard to swallow, but lots of stupid people are buying it.

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Soup
Soup DuJury..................................$4.95
Aged for over a year. May be bitter.

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From the Grill
Mark Fuhrman Chicken Platter ......$5.95
Absolutely no dark meat.

Veal a La Nicole.............................$4.95
Well battered and sliced. Served without the head.

Dennis Fung Plate...............................................$5.95
Grilled Detective, served open-faced. May be contaminated.

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Dessert
Sorry, our bakery is temporarily closed. The lawyers have taken all the dough!