Induhviduals

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< Party Tips for Induhviduals

Despite your best efforts, you might find yourself at an office party with Induhviduals. Here are some tips you will want to share with them in order to avoid any embarrassing or dangerous situations.

- If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing "reduce 75%."

- If you hear someone yell, "Empower THIS!!" try to put some distance between you and whatever happens next.

- Never ask, "Is *that* your wife or did you cash in some stock options?"

- If the party is held on site, don't ask for directions.

- When you meet your boss's spouse, never say "Wow, I didn't know you were married. What's it like to have an open relationship?"

- Don't put the eggnog in your own flask.

- Don't ask the band to play "Take This Job and Shove It."

- It's never a good idea to use the mistletoe as a fig leaf.