May 30th
Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful
sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together.
What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air
conditioned home, drive an air conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the
sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher
today, but I love it here.
July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking
longer than I expected.
July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed
two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got
to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By
the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the
size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather
upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles
and shit. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th
Dry #@*&$!% heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is on the
fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed
to order parts.
July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in damn
house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and
gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool.
I hate this #@*&$!% state.
Aug 8th
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear
his #@*&$!% throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like Roasted
#@*&$!% Garfield!!
Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's
been too hot to #@*& for two damn months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?
Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus
just dried up and blew into the #@*&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live in
this heat.
Aug. 14th
(What year was this?!~!) Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the #@*&$!% windshield out of the
Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug. 30th
Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@*&$!%
monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell.
The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500
windshield. Maybe it will wash out that dead cat smell. That does it,
we're moving to Michigan for some peace and quiet. Some mornings it's just
not worth chewing thru the leather straps.
Love, Bubba ...... er, never mind. Just call me Bob