Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie. Every grad school barbie comes with these fun filled features guarenteed to delight and entertain for hours: Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first). Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes. Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and a 5-year old GAP t-shirt and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go Screw Yourself" T-shirt.
Grad School Barbie talks!
Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad
school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow," "I'd
love to write it all over again" and "Why didn't I just get a job, I
could have been making $40,000 a year by now if I had just started
working with a Bachelor's. But Noooooo, Mom and Dad wanted a masters
degree, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd have
an excuse to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of
life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..."
(9 volt lithium batteries sold seperately)
Grad school barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing. Also included is the extra 15 pounds plate. Deluxe Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts. Just add a little water, and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals.
Fun for the entire family!!!!
Other accessories include:
Grad School Barbies's Fun Fridge(tm). Well stocked with microwave
popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free) and small
bottle of Mattel Brand Bourbon(tm).
Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet. Comes in Fabulous pink and
contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your
choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet not
available without a prescription)
Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniture obsolete
PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniture Mountain Dew
cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not included
in price, tech support sold seperately)
And Grad School Barbie is not alone!!!!
Order now and you'll get two of Barbie's greatest friends.
Graduate Advisor Ken:
Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for increased education and
decreased self-esteem. Grad Advisor Ken(tm) comes with a supply of red
pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken
deliver such wisdom to Barbie as "I need an update on your progress" "I
don't think you'll be ready to graduate yet," and "This is no where near
ready for publication."
Buy three or more dolls and have Barbie's Thesis Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold seperately)
Real Job Skipper:
When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can always count on her
good friend Real Job Skipper(tm), who got a job after getting her
bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say,
"Sometimes I wish I went for my Master's degree" and "Work is so hard! I
had to work a half an hour overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe
and Savings Account sold seperately.
WARNING:
Do NOT place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each
other, as there have been several mysterious cases of children leaving
the room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to
Skipper's throat.