Dumb Men Jokes

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Why did God create man in the first place.
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

What did God say after creating man.
I can do better.

What do you call a man with half a brain.
Gifted.

What do you call an intelligent man in America.
A tourist.

What's the difference between government bonds and men.
Bonds mature.

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business.
1. No mind.
2. No business.

What do you call twelve dozen men in one room.
Gross Stupidity.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette.
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

What is a man's view of safe sex.
A padded headboard.

Why is it so hard for a woman to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking.
Because they already have boyfriends.

Why do men want to marry virgins.
They can't stand criticism.

Why do men name their penises.
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.

Why do men like masturbation.
Its sex with someone they love.

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom.
To keep the swelling down.

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade.
Two ways to cross a river.

How do men sort their laundry.
"Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

How is a man like a snowstorm.
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover.
He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

If men got pregnant....
abortion would be available in convienience stores and drive through windows.

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics.
He had it bronzed.

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

Husband: Want a quickie.
Wife: As opposed to what?

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.