Joke of the Week
Sir Francis Drake, the famous British sea captain was lounging on the lawn bowl with his men. A young seamen ran onto the lawn yelling, "Sir Francis, Sir Francis, come quickly! Two Spanish ships are in the harbour!"
"Quickly," replied Sir Francis, "bring me my red shirt and we're off."
After the battle, the British XO said to Sir Francis, "Excellent victory Captain, but why the red shirt?" Sir Francis replied, "In case I was injured, I did not want my bleeding to discourage the men."
Later that day, another young maiden called for Sir Francis, "Captain Drake, the entire Spanish Armada is in the harbour, come quickly!"
Sir Francis replied, "Bring me my brown pants, and we're off!"
Fiona Kosmin
Joke #2
Office Joke of the Week
A man is walking along the beach and spots a gold handle poking out of the sand. Digging it out, he discovers that it's an old beat-up lamp... and begins to brush it off. Then all of the sudden , this genie appears in front of him.
"I am at your command master.", bellowed the genie. "Since you have freed me from my imprisonment of 10,000 years, I can grant you 3 wishes. However, there is a catch...whatever you wish for, your wife will get double.".
The man looks up at the genie, "Double !?!...I thought you were a genie...help me out here !!".
"Those are the rules.", the genie informed.
"Alright...I wish for...a huge mansion.", suddenly the man finds himself inside a huge mansion, but across the way he sees an even larger mansion with his wife jumping for joy in the front yard.
"Hmmm....I wish for...ten million dollars.", before he could even finish his request, there is a knock on the door. The man runs over to the door, open it, and is greeted by an armored truck filled to the brim with cash. But before he could even begin to enjoy his newly found wealth, the sound of an enormous helicopter transporting a huge safe containing twenty million dollars disrupts the mood, and lands in his wife's front yard.
"You have one wish left.", informed the genie.
"OK...beat me half to death."