* Dogs don't cry
* Dogs love it when your friends come over
* Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
* Dogs think you sing great
* A dog's time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink
* Dogs don't expect you to call them when you're running late
* The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
* Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
* Dogs are excited by rough play
* Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
* Dogs understand that farts are funny
* Dogs can appreciate excess body hair
* Anyone can get a good-looking dog
* If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
* Dogs don't shop
* Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
* A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
* Dogs never need to "examine the relationship"
* A dog's parents never come to visit
* Dogs love long car trips
* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
* When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can
shoot it
* Dogs like beer
* Dogs don't hate their bodies
* No dog ever bought a Kenny G. album
* Dogs never criticize
* Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
* Dogs don't expect gifts
* It is legal to keep a dog chained up at your house
* Dogs don't worry about germs
* Dogs don't want to know about every dog you've ever had
* Dogs would rather you buy them a burger and fries instead of a lobster
dinner
* You never have to wait for a dog--they're ready 24 hours a day.
* Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry
* Dogs don't borrow your shirts
* Dogs never want a foot rub
* Dogs can't talk
* Dogs think it's amusing when you're drunk