A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
There's this rich guy and a poor guy that work together and both their wives birthday's fall on the same day. After work, they were both heading out to buy their wives gifts. The next day, they both come in to work and the poor guy asks the rich guy, "So how did your wife's birthday go and what did you end up buying her?" The rich guy answers, "It went well. I bought her a mink coat and a BMW." The poor guy was really impressed and asked him why those gifts. The rich guy answers, "I figured if she didn't want the mink coat, she could drive herself back to return it." So then he asks the poor guy, "So what did you end up getting your wife?" The poor guy answers, "I bought her a blouse and a dildo" The rich guy says, "That's a wierd combination, why those gifts." The poor guy answers, "I figured, if she didn 't like the blouse, she can go fuck herself!"