Cigarette and Farmer

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Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel!"

A small town farmer had three daughters. Being a single father, he tended to be a little overprotective of his daughters. When gentlemen came to take his daughters out on a date, he would greet them with a shotgun to make sure they knew who was boss.

One evening, all of his daughters were going out on dates.

The doorbell rang, the farmer got his shotgun, and answered the door. A gentleman said,

Hi, I'm Joe,

I'm here for Flo,

We're goin' to the show,

Is she ready to go?

The farmer frowned but decided to let them go.

The doorbell rang again, the farmer got his shotgun, and answered the door. A gentleman said,

Hi, I'm Eddie,

I'm here for Jenny,

We gettin' spaghetti,

Is she ready?

The farmer frowned but decided to let them go.

The doorbell rang again, the farmer got his shotgun, and answered the door. A gentleman said,

Hi, I'm Chuck,

And the farmer shot him dead.