Ballad of Bobbitt

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< The Ballad of the Bobbit HillBillies

Come and listen to my story bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She loped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
Penis, that is.
Clean cut. Missed his nuts.

Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And she tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.
Curve, that is.
Tossed the nub. In the shrub.

She went to the law and confessed to the attack.
And they called out the dogs just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "Over there".
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
Found that is.
By a fence. Evidence.

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart long.
So a dick doc said, "Hey I can fix your dong!"
"A needle and thread is all we're gonna need,"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.
Wizzed that is.
Even seam. Straight stream.

Well healed and he hardened and he took his case to court.
With a half-assed lawyer, cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.
Video that is.
Unexposed. Case closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?